he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
