No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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