The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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