Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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