Are we in a gay sports bar?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize