R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
worst night to have a conscience
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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