Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
