Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
