I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
