My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
