you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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