I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
