you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
