And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize