We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
