so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
