I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
