sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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