FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
