I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
