How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
