you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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