you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
