Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I cockslap morals
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
