Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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