in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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