drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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