U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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