I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
