I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
