i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
