Kiss
Puke
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
