It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
