woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
