I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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