Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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