oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize