Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
