I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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