So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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