I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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