I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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