i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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