I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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