I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
