Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no. you can't hotbox the world.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
