just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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