I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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