You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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