I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
