Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
