So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
