I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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