I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
