So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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