Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
