Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
