i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
