I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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